The Problem With Weekends

Comedian Mike Birbiglia talks about an alter ego that he calls "Sleepy Carl".  He explains that sometime in the middle of the night, Carl enters his body and takes over for the night shift.  So when the alarm goes off in the morning, Carl does his best to talk Mike out of getting up.



I have a similar alter ego, except mine works only on weekends.  I call him "Weekend Steve".  Steve does his best to make sure I have a terrific weekend, filled with laziness and food.

For example, he allows me to stay up much later than I should on Friday night to play video games or watch movies.  He tells me that it's okay to drink pop, eat candy and generally stuff my face on Friday night because, hey, I earned it.

And yet, no matter how dumb the suggestions may be considering my attempt to lose weight, it makes sense on Friday night.

Then, when I wake up on Saturday morning - after going to bed at 2:30 - Steve is still asleep and I have to live with the choices I made.  I wake up tired and cranky with a sugar hangover and a bloated stomach that looks like it contains an entire water buffalo.

Steve usually wakes up sometime after lunch on Saturday and immediately tells me that I need to down the bag of Oreos in the cupboard today, so they won't be there on Monday to tempt me.

It makes perfect sense at the time.

As I mentioned yesterday, I have nothing against splurging every once and awhile, but I can't do this every single week.  It affects my weight drastically and then it takes days for me to get back to normal afterwards.

Let me show you what I mean.  This comes from my weight loss chart that I use daily:

Friday, January 11th - 236 pounds
Saturday, 12th - 237.2
Sunday, 13th - 238.6

My weight finally started to go back down on Tuesday, the 15th (236.4), and then I was able to get it down to 235 on Friday, the 18th.  And then...

Saturday, 19th - 236.6
Sunday, 20th - 236.8

After that I plateaued around 236 until I finally lost a little on Wednesday, the 23rd. (234.6)

As of Friday, January 25th, I was able to get it down to it's lowest point in months: 232.2 pounds.  I was so excited about it.  I bragged about it on Facebook and everything.

And then....

Saturday, 26th - 235.6 (+3.4 pounds in one day!)
Sunday, 27th - 235.2

And as of this morning, I haven't gained or lost anything.  Still sitting at 235.2 for four days straight..  (And that's after burning quite a few calories shoveling snow and working out the past few days.)

Look, I realize that I shouldn't worry about weight so much, but I can't ignore the fact that I lose weight like crazy during the week and gain even more weight on weekends.

I really need to make some changes.  I need to stop sabotaging my weight loss every weekend by justifying a cheat day.  It's not worth it.  I work too hard through the week to be healthy.  I cannot allow myself to get off track.

If I'm going to do this thing - and I guarantee you, I'm going to do it - I need to treat the weekends like every other day.  Sure, I may splurge a bit, but nothing like I have every weekend this past month.

"Weekend Steve" is getting fired when he comes to work on Friday night.  Please join me in wishing him luck in his future endeavors.